I want to dance

Today, my little miss started her first ever dance class. It’s a ballet tap combo for 31/2 to 41/2 year olds.

She had a terrific time and is looking forward to next week.

And I walked away feeling jealous. I’ve never studied dance. Of all the random interests I’ve pursued either via books, a few community education lessons, or a more formalized series of classes I’ve interested in various kinds of dance for a long time but it’s something I’ve stayed away from.

I know I can learn dance moves and I would certainly appreciate the exercise component of it, so I don’t know what the hesitation is.

Actually, I do know. The dance genres and styles I would most like to learn are ballet, hip-hop, tap or maybe some combination of all three. These are all dance styles that adult, white men should, for the most part, avoid trying to pull off. If I had started studying any of these as a child or even as a teen I could claim some legitimacy in my interest but as someone in his 30s it would take me quite a while to overcome the concern that I was trying to be cool or reclaim a youthfulness.

I don’t really enjoy being young or youthful, but I enjoy even less the possibility that I’ll be percieved as though I’m trying to act cool or young. And shame and a self-consciousness would probably be a big hinderance in trying to learn a dance style.  Plus, the recital would be a huge source of stress.

The other reason I don’t take tap lessons or learn how to dance hip-hop is because I hold folks who do those things well in such high regard and I would always be frustrated I wasn’t at their level. I’m not a good beginner. I want to be an immediate expert. So, maybe I should take a tap class and experience that feeling of being terrible at something and yet maybe having fun. Perhaps I could learn that being bad at something won’t hurt me and I don’t need to be great at something to enjoy doing it.

Or, maybe I’m a natural and within 1 year of my first tap class I’ll be opening for Savion Glover.

Maybe?

LW